May 30th 2025 Kathy Wakeling passed at midnight last night. This feels like the beginning of significant deaths in my life now that I am 47 years old. Kathy was a dear dear friend who if I admitted to my and her daughter Tiffany, I often wished she was my own mother. Kathy was awesome. She had her pulse on what was cool and in but wasn't trendy herself. She appreciated all things crafty and cute and bedazzled jewels. I remember when she took me wedding dress shopping, maybe because my mom was exhausted, didn't want to, or just could not get the hang of my 'vision' for what I wanted. Kathy took me and we tried. She also noticed after we went shopping that she had worn two different shoes. We laughed a lot about that.
Kathy adored my Hadley from the start. Not just a friendly admiration, she loved Hadley! Kathy was the first person I ever left Hadley alone with for an hour or so. I remember dropping her off in her carseat at just a few weeks old. She cooed and rocked her and just filled herself up on a baby while I got a well-need post-partum break.
Kathy was the type that at the last Garden Party we had, she brought hats that she decorated for all of us girls and Pat, Mom and Molly. First we admired everyone of them and she was so fun to do those things with because she liked that kind of stuff so much. We would bring our own fun crafts or items we were making or the girls had made just to show them to her and Pat.
I could go on and on. Kathy was kind to my mom and I know she was a dear friend to her. I may not ever know how close they were but it was nice that she understood my mom and liked her anyway.
Christmas 2024 she came over to Molly's to make gingerbread houses with me, Gentry, Bridget, Molly, Pat and my mom - who she tried to get to participate.
She and Pat came over and helped make tiara's for our school carnival at least twice. I always looked forward to this. She was so fun to pick out colors with, talk about things and laugh about the ridiculousness of the crafts Molly and I would get ourselves involved in.
Kathy told me stories about how she would shop when her first child was born with him and then get a cookie at Nordstrom. I thought that was so cool. She knew about 'self-care' before it was a thing. She believed in quality items or her husband did and they must have been a great team together. Her words of wisdom was to let your husband 'think it was his idea' to get what you want. (It really works!)
I'll always remember visiting Kathy in her rehabilitation ward after she fell and broke her leg. I was excited to surprise her on a random rainy Monday night. Bridget, Autumn and Charly made a modge-podge collage of 'all things Kathy' from magazines. It wasn't hard because she liked so many things. But I remember driving out to see her and giving it to her to brighten her room. I heard how much she loved it and was happy because it truly was a "Kathy collage" - I loved all the things on it as well. I loved her taste in things as well as her non-fussiness. The was hung with blue painters tape, somewhat crooked but that speaks to her non-perfectionist personality. Although I think most things she made or tried turned out pretty perfect. She knew herself and was confident.
Last time I saw her was with Hadley and we convinced my mom to go and visit her too with the promise of lunch after. We waited for almost half an hour because we were told she was in physical therapy. Then we asked another nurse who said she was having lunch so we found her in the cafeteria. I was so glad we found her and she came back to her room where we ran in Pat and The Marilyn. I had never met The Marilyn but Kathy had spoken of her a million times over the years. She quilted with her and probably dozens of other things that I was the recipient of.
I know I had her on my November Gratitude List but I can't remember if I ever sent her a letter. I sure hope I did but either way is a reminder to tell people who have had a impact or matter to me while they are here so they can know how much they meant. I am glad that she knows now!
