Holidays

I love how the holidays take on a whole new meaning when you have kids. Actually, older kids. Since Hadley started school she 'gets' holidays a little bit more and it is fun to be excited with the kids for them. I am fortunate that I get to stay home with all of them all the time so a goal of mine is to keep with doing holiday festivities.

Swing Shift

Vincent can be a handful when Hadley is away at school and it is late afternoon when a nap would do him the most good. The past few weeks I have tried my best to set aside this time to give him my full, undivided attention. If both Lauren and Gentry are sleeping this is made quite easier. We've played board games and computer games and he even sat and let me read him some library books. I wish I could say that it makes him less cranky later in the evening but that isn't true. However, I get to go to bed knowing that I put forth the effort and spent some time with him. It seems like every night I go to bed thinking about how little one-on-one or significant time I got to spend with any of the kids. It is amazing how long and slow a day can seem and also how quickly it can go by. Trying to do a little more with my kids and a little less of everything else is hard when you are task-oriented like I am. It feels so good though to have spent time with them during the day.

I was told about a talk Sister Julie Beck shared at a meeting for women. One woman summarized it as:

She talked about how she manages her day and uses her time. She shared with the audience the following:

"Sister Beck said she learned how to prioritize her time as a wife and mother while observing her father-in-law, a steel worker who at various times in his career worked the day, evening or night shift. She said she realized she was working all three shifts simultaneously, and she had to prioritize the demands on her so she could provide the service her family most needed.""The most valuable time of the day for a family," Sister Beck said, "is the afternoon/evening shift.""Be at the top of your game on swing shift," she said. "People are hungry, people are teachable. You feed them; that's when you serve them the most. Plan for swing shift, and then work the rest of your day around that."

For some reason this concept has really resonated with me. I find I am tired and feel somewhat lazy in the afternoons and always felt guilty if I wasted this time with a little nap or me-time doing something I enjoy. Now I actually try to plan to do those things so that I can be more attentive later. Obviously I imagine this will really mean even more when I have several children in school and so on. I love the point she makes about them being more 'teachable' at that time of the day. It is so true and I need to be on the top of my game for those opportunities.

Servicing Others

A lot of people offer help (namely visiting teachers) or ask if there is anything they can do to help, myself included. I've found that usually they are well-intentioned or genuine but just don't know how or what they can do to help. Sometimes we have to think a little bit harder on ways we can help someone. We have to be willing to give help that is 'outside of the box'. (As a side note, when someone offers you help, they usually mean it. Take them up on it.) I've come up with some ways to help or be helped:

1. I'd like my visiting teacher to come over and help a child read or read to my children so I can do some things at home in peace. This also doesn't require me to dress the kids, pack them up, drop them off somewhere and be back at a certain time. I can do laundry and work around the house while they are entertained.

2. Instead of bringing me sweets or cookies, how about a nutritious or healthy snacks. My kids will already eat anything sweet on their own - that isn't a novelty. But what if someone dropped off a new healthy snack that their kids enjoy - my kids just might enjoy that. Not to mention: I don't really need any more treats around the holidays to hide from my kids.

3. One things I did for a busy mom that I visit taught was created a FHE packet that included a lesson, activity, and refreshments. I was already making or preparing one for my own family so I just made an extra and dropped it off for her on a Sunday or Monday.

Jackpot

As I was walking out of a store the other day with all four kids in tow an older man passed me and said, "Wow, you really hit the jackpot!"

That is such a new and refreshing way of looking at it. I love that I didn't get the typical, 'wow you have your hands full' or 'wow I bet you're a busy mom.' How many of us moms think we hit the jackpot with our full brood?

He was right, I did hit the jackpot! My kids are so great that I willingly take all four kids out and they know how to behave.

Someday

Hadley asked me the other day what I'll do when I don't have any kids to take care of? Interesting question coming from a five year-old to a mom who sometimes can't imagine a day like that. And yet, I know it will come.

I asked her what she thought I should do and she responded that I could help other people or do things for others.

I am so happy that she sees that as a viable and respectable practice because I strive for that one day. Today I am in the service of my children, later it can hopefully be for others. It is so important for my kids to see me serve others as much as I can right now. I want them to know that there is no better way to spend your time.

Seasons

When people say "they grow up so fast" I hope to think to myself, 'nope, I was there for every day, hour, even minute of it. the timing seemed just about right.'

I've felt this way with all of my infants - actually that they can't grow up fast enough. More importantly though, I think I can genuinely say that I have tried to enjoy each stage for what it was - even the infant stage that I didn't care very much for. With Gentry especially I've tried to hold her more or longer or just relish in her stages. I never want to look back and think sadly that 'they grow up so fast and I wasn't there for nearly enough of it.'

Another advantage of having all four kids close together is that I really am here for every minute of it. Sometimes this is frustrating but I genuinely feel like I am getting my fill of their childhoods - at least I hope so.

I remember reading an article by a mom who talked about being in your child's stages and then moving on to the next. She wrote about how it was like seasons - we always seem to get our fill of a season, excitedly welcome the next one, and on and on. (I especially do this - every season seems just two weeks too long but it makes you appreciate the next season that comes along. A couple months ago I was relishing in the fall season and now I can't wait for Spring!) As she put it, if you just enjoy the season you're in, then the following season comes naturally. Once elementary school years were finished, the chapter was closed and her and her child welcomed middle school. Again, I hope having several children close in age helps me to really live fully within their seasons and then welcome the next. What is challenging is having multiple children all going through different stages. I'll never have to say that I wish I had been around more for so and so, or as much as I was with the [first] or [last] one. This is my season - four kids, all in my home, all under my influence (almost solely) and all dependant on me.

Of course I know there will be times when I see old pictures or videos of when they were younger and miss that. This is to remind me that I lived that life to the fullest (as is possible) and my kids had me for all of those moments.